Hi All,
This week we hit 100 subscribers, yay! I am so happy to have so many of you here, and I’m looking forward to meeting you all in the comments.
Today I’m introducing you to a new project: A poetic essay series on fear, victimhood and horror. Subscribe to remain up to date on:
I have been thinking about horror, fear and victimhood. I have been thinking about the role of fear in the natural world and in femininity. I have been thinking about victimhood and the willingness of some to own this and the refusal of others to even look at it.
This started with the post on why I fear nature. But it may have seeded long before that. Perhaps when my partner and I were attacked, or perhaps when I came out of the womb female. Or perhaps when my drama teacher asked us, a group of girls aged 11, why we were all obsessed with being stalked. He, a male 40-year old, couldn’t understand why all of our dramatic skits involved being taken, followed, or assaulted. I wonder how a female teacher might have attended to our collective consciousness in a manner which healed rather than questioned. Upon reflection, those drama lessons appear to be an operating theatre of collective catharsis ill-understood by our teacher.
There are moments in my life where I am more fearful.
I am sure it is the same for you.
You have stages of fearful limbo - cupboards hold beasts, shadows hold attackers, and forests hold spaces from which you will never emerge.
The crack between the curtains must be closed.
The door must be double checked.
You exist in these liminal fearful states for a length of time unknown - for even temporality is fearful and so you ignore it.
Then, you emerge from the fringes of noxious thought.
You forget your fears and walk the streets with the confidence of which your former self dreamed. It is a cycle, though, and you will find yourself in its midst once again.
I fear, you fear, we fear.
This series is primarily interested in fear and horror in the natural world, fear and femininity, and the notion of victimhood - why some claim it, and others don’t. This series will be drawing on interviews with victims; their words are the most important, and I hope I do them justice.
The first instalment will focus on nature, horror and fear - coming soon…
See you soon!
Looking forward to it. Btw, that teacher was a shit.
Saffron, we doing our poetry thing on the 28th of January at high noon Eastern US Standard time, because it's poetical. Can you make it? Wes
You are absolutely right about there being periods of fear. I think, out in the world, I will always have a baseline wariness or fear. That's just how women live. It's foolish not to. But I used to be a lot more fearful at home when I was younger - the whole check the door, close the shades thing. Then I had kids and I couldn't be afraid because then they would be afraid. Fear became a calm vigilance so they would feel safe. Of course, I was fortunate to live in a place and situation where that was possible. But I wonder, now that my kids are mostly away at college, and as I get older, if some of that fear will try to creep back in. I'll resist it if it does. I can't wait to read what you write on this topic. 💙